As I’ve gotten older I find that I wrestle with stage fright.  Serious
performance anxiety.  As more playing opportunities begin to pop up I’ve
noticed that I get really nervous.  Being a little nervous is normal but
I’m talking agonizing about having to play a week or more before the actual date
arrives.  I’ll lay in bed and thinking about a pending performance –
mentally seeing all the people staring at me waiting for me to begin. Images
like that do not help me sleep well.

The funny thing is this actually started before I began playing trumpet.
Prior to picking up the horn, I sang all the time.  I entered talent shows
in high school and I’ve been singing with a choir at church since I was about 8
years old.  I lead songs regularly and I have an OK voice.  While I
remember being nervous I don’t recall agonizing over a performance more than a
day or two before it actually arrived.  A few years ago I noticed that my
nervousness increased.  It got to the point where I didn’t want to sing
solos because I would struggle with it a week in advance.  Instead of
looking forward to singing a solo I was dreading it and just wanted to get it
over with so I could relax.

I’m actually starting to feel the same way with the trumpet.  The
nervousness I had with singing is multiplied times ten.  The funny thing is
I tend to get slightly less nervous for my jazz gigs than I do for my church
performances.  This could be because I spend most of my practice time
preparing for jazz.  I’ve got a couple coming up near the end of the month
and they are really starting to bug me.  The nervousness effects my
performance as well.  I remember being petrified when I played with the
community band but not with the performances.  I got nervous over tuning up
(and of course when you’re nervous you don’t use your air properly and you weave
all over the pitch)!  I’ve had rehearsals where I struggle with a certain
part or note but as soon as I get home – it just pops out…  problems
gone.  Very frustrating.

I used to hope that as I performed more I would slowly get used to it and not
get nervous.  Later I heard that Miles Davis always got nervous before a
performances – even late in his career!  So much for that idea! Perhaps you
never really learn to avoid the nervousness but you can perform well in spite of
it.