Have you ever seen a baby or toddler trying to tell a parent something but
they cannot because they have not reached a certain level of communication? They
get frustrated and end up screaming and kicking. That is how I felt last week
when playing. I feel as if I have a lot to say inside but my lack of technical
skill is keeping me from completing simple sentences. Just like a child I found
myself on the verge of a tantrum (switching back to sax). This may all seem
silly but if you want something badly (as I want to be able to play jazz on the
trumpet) it happens.

I have tried not to give out any advice on this web site. At this point in my
playing I have very little knowledge regarding trumpet pedagogy or even basic
jazz theory. If someone managed to grab a piece of helpful information from my
journal entries or an equipment tip when I was buying a new trumpet every three
months… great. I have also purposely not included a lot of details in my
studies (something I am thinking of changing) with regards to methods. I guess
since I am still figuring things out myself I do not want to mislead other new
players with bad advice. That being said – I will offer this one full proof and
guaranteed way of getting yourself focused again when things seem to be falling
apart. This suggestion works regardless of your instrument of choice.

Listen to music.

When you get frustrated beyond clarity, put your instrument down for a moment
(or a day or two in my case). Listen to the cats who inspired you to pick up
your axe in the first place. Listen to your favorite tunes and remember why you
started the journey. Remember how much fun it was when you belted out your first
note or played your first tune. I did it and it works. I have little doubt that
I will return to that dark place again but now I know the solution.

I was on the train riding to work and I had my iPod on random play. 
Below is a list of the songs that got me back where I needed to be:

• "Oriental Folk Song" from Night Dreamer – Wayne Shorter
• "A Child is Born" from Consummation – Thad Jones & Mel Lewis
• "Passionate Courage" from Bounce – Terence Blanchard
• "Fall" from Nefertiti – Miles Davis
• "Tanya" from One Flight Up – Dexter Gordon
• "Short Story" from In 'n Out – Joe Henderson
• "I Will Wait for You" from The Complete Donald Byrd & Pepper Adams –
  Donald Byrd

The only problem with listening to Consummation is it made me miss my
flugelhorn…  Hmmm…

I also want to think everyone who emailed me with suggestions and
encouragement.  I truly appreciate it.  Full steam ahead.

A few folks who visit this site regularly probably noticed that the soundroom page was missing. I pulled it about 3 or 4 weeks ago. More than anything I yanked because I was getting a bit frustrated over my lack of range. I would visit a trumpet talk bulletin board and read about other new players who were able to wail out high Cs. I've even gotten emails from other rookie players who seem to be well on their way to high C and beyond. Of course after a while I got self conscious and I assumed that there were more than a few players who found my lack of range a complete and total joke. “Look – this egghead has a website, practices everyday and he can barely play a G on top of the staff…. LOSER.”

If you read through my old journal entries – you know this is a reoccurring complaint from me. It is not as if I have any desire to become a high note or lead player. The type of jazz that I aspire to play does not require it. It becomes an issue for me when I try and play one of my favorite heads and the notes are in my danger zone. Because I struggle to play them it is almost impossible to apply any feeling (forget about tone). I put that in bold because I want to make that crystal clear. Someone told me long ago that this was a never ending battle for a trumpet player. Not just for range but for tone, articulation, double tonguing… everything. I have to use this as motivation to keep working. I have had conversations with many players (including my teacher) and they all tell me that I am doing the right things and it will come. The heart of the problem is I am not the most patient person in the world and I have been pretty patient with this endeavor – mainly because I can't imagine NOT playing trumpet. When you hear that other players can do it after two years and you can't – you immediately start to question everything you're doing.

Its one thing to have a problem but to have it out front for everyone to see is completely different. I have to remind myself however that I put this site up to be honest and share this journey with others. One of the things I love about GREAT jazz is the honesty involved. This site will reflect that honesty as well. I could easy boast of notes that I can't play or abilities that I don't have but what is the point of that? I'm planning on putting the sound room back. I knew when I started this – it was not going to be all roses and daisies. If it was easy – everyone would be doing it. When I figure it out and come through (and I will figure it out) – it will be an inspiration to other players who struggle as well. I know I am not the only one with this problem — probably just one of the few (if not only) with a web site documenting it.

I played some golf over the weekend without lip protection. STUPID! This time of the season is tricky in that the weather is between fall and winter. It was pretty chilly and windy that day so I ended up with a bit of lip damage. Granted, it is no more damage than I normally get when I'm outside without protection but it feels horrible! It is amazing how lip sensitive I have become now that I've started playing trumpet. If they are anything but soft and undamaged I'm freaking out. I'm using Blistex to get them back in shape. I resolved to keep something for my lips in my truck, golf bag, home, work… EVERYWHERE. This will NOT happen again.

I?m beginning to think that writing a journal entry once a week may be a bit much. I?m getting to the point where I?m starting to repeat myself. Not totally sure yet but I may limit my journal entries to twice a week or sooner if something worth talking about happens.

As you can see – things at work still has me hopping around like a mad man. I've planning on doing a journal entry for the past two days but by the time I get home I'm beat mentally. I've still been managing to get in some solid practice time regardless of my mental state. On days where I can't commit to playing my normal routine I do some soft long tones and easy basics with sound being my primary focus. That has been very helpful to keep me in shape and develop my tone. Tone is VERY important to me now (and will continue to be important decades from now).

Yesterday I got in my regular routine AND began transposing a Miles Davis' solo from Four (one of the EARLY prestige recordings). I am finding that my ear is pretty good with picking things up quickly. I've been writing down the notes (no rhythms) to help keep things moving. I tried doing it without writing anything down but I kept forgetting stuff that I had figured out earlier. My goal is to get the notes and rhythms down and then try to get his STYLE down. The notes and rhythms don't mean as much without that style… an obvious fact when I listen to recordings of ME playing the solo versus Miles.

On the Miles tip – I heard a song called “Chocolate Chip” from the Doo Bop album. I grew up on hip-hop as a teenager and it amazes me that he could still do his thing no matter what the genre of music was. PURE GENIUS AND TALENT. You can change the accompaniment but it's still Miles Davis.

Sorry it took so long to make this journal entry. Work has been pretty hectic and I've come home brain dead. I still try to put in a minimum of 45 minutes practice to maintain what I've done so far. I'm hoping things settle down soon so I can continue my climb.

Of all things that I deal with – comparing my progress to others has been the hardest thing to remove from my mind. I frequently find myself looking at the accomplishments of others and seeing how I stack up. If I come up short I immediately wonder if I'm doing the right things. Is two hours enough practice time? Do I need more long tones? Dozens of questions like this pop into my head and sometimes lead me to wonder if I should have stuck with the sax. On the really bad days I wonder where I would be if I had put all this work into it rather than starting from scratch with trumpet. One listen to Miles Davis, Donald Byrd and Terence Blanchard quickly remind me of why I picked it up to begin with. To me that is a good sign.

Thank God for a good teacher and a support group of friends who understand what I'm trying to do. I've been told numerous times that I am working on the right things and I hear a word that I might as well tattoo on my forehead… patience. Or as my friend Lou constantly tells me — enjoy the trip.

On Thursday, October 2nd – I had the pleasure of hearing Terence Blanchard live at the Kennedy Center. Ever since purchasing his new album Bounce – I was very anxious to check out this group again (my first time being at Blues Alley about a year ago). As tight as they were then and as tight as they sound on the album — they totally blew me away.

They opened with “Fred Brown” and it included some very impressive solo work by Terence, Brice Winston (tenor sax) and Aaron Parks (piano). Each player took the song in a different direction before emerging to the original theme. It was intoxicating.

The second song yielded a surprise. I was at the concert celebrating my 10-year anniversary with my wife. I had put in a request with Terence’s management via email that he play “Passionate Courage” because it was my wife’s favorite cut from the album. Not only did he play the song – he wished us a happy anniversary (commenting that he had to double check to make sure we didn’t want a blues instead). They sounded incredible. Needless the say the song holds a very special place in our hearts after that. Like I’ve said a million times – jazz people are the best people. Thanks VB!!!!

The next song was “Azania” and it featured – Lionel Loueke. Despite an equipment problem with his amplifier, Lionel held the crowd transfixed playing, singing and pounding rhythms on the side of his guitar. It was a true testament to performing live – he made it work quite successfully and there may have been a few people who did not know any better.

Terence did his best playing on “I Thought About You.” Someone in the crowd shouted — SING and that is just what he did. It was an excellent showcase of his original and expressive way of playing. There were moments where the band laid out completely leaving him all the space he needed to stretch his legs. Each note was drenched in emotion and he filled the hall with his signature sound.

The only disappointment of the night was that he didn’t play “Footprints.” It was an AMAZING concert. Be sure to check them out when they come to a city near you. You will NOT be disappointed.

On Sunday I went to hear the Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra at the Kennedy Center. As usual they sounded amazing and left me inspired and anxious to get home to pick up my own instrument. After the first intermission, Wynton came on stage with his septet to perform music that will appear on his upcoming Blue Note album. I got a chance to speak to some of the band members and Wynton invited me to bring my horn for a lesson next time he was in town. I even had the opportunity to sing the blues with him and a few others around the piano. I said it before but I will say it again — the LCJO are some of the nicest, most gracious cats I've ever met. Truly beautiful people.

Near the middle of the week I couldn't do anything right on my horn. Long tones, lip slurs, articulation studies, etudes, scales… everything was horrible. I haven't had a day like that in a long time and it was difficult to deal with. I blamed everything for it… myself for not practicing long enough… hurricane Isabel for knocking out the power… Pepco for taking 5 days to get me reconnected… even my dog for being in the same room! It was pretty pathetic.

Fast forward to Friday and Saturday… I could do no wrong on the horn. My tone was fat, my articulation clean and my mind was sharp and alert. It was like night and day from the middle of the week. In hindsight I did not sleep very well during the power outage so it is very possible that I was simply fatigued and my playing was a result of that. It was proof in my eyes that our performance on our instruments has a direct connection with how we are feeling mentally, physically and spiritually.

The lesson to be learned? If you want to play well – treat yourself well. Music and life are intertwined.

Hurricane Isabel rolled through the Washington Metro area on Thursday and killed the electricity in over 1.5 million homes! I unfortunately fell in that number(II am posting this message from a borrowed workstation). Still, I am very thankful that power is the only thing I am lacking. My thoughts and prayers go out to folks in North Carolina and Virginia who lost everything.

The good news… my trumpet does NOT require electricity to work. Since the city was shutdown on Thursday and Friday I was able to enjoy some extended practice time. I did my regular routine during the day and hammered on scales after dark. I couldn't see notes on a page but I heard the sound and created it. Playing in this format is excellent in that you don't worry about technicalities — you let sound guide you. Without the sounds of an electric world it seemed as if my trumpet and I were the only things on the planet.

Sunday I have the pleasure of checking out Wynton Marsalis and the Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra… ALWAYS a treat.

On Saturday I pulled out my Clark Technical Studies book and began trying to work my way through each exercise that was in my playable range. To my surprise I did horribly on all exercises that had more than 3 sharps and flats in them. This is due to me not practicing all of my scales they way that I should. As a result I have put myself on scale punishment. I will work through my normal fundamentals as usual but no etudes or jazz exercises until I can play all my scales with some familiarity. I plan on grilling myself the next few weeks hard and often. One of my goals for 2003 was learning my scales so I can't sleep on this one.

I also noticed that I have a hard time reading music that has more than 2 ledger lines. I have terrible eye sight and I find that I read the notes incorrectly. Especially in some of the older books like Clark and Arbans where the notes are really close together. It may be time to get new contacts or look into Lasik surgery.

I got to spend some time with a friend on Sunday afternoon playing the trumpet and listening to tunes. I got compliments on my improved tone but I need to work on my technique. In an earlier journal entry I mentioned that if you are practicing and sounding horrible — you are working on the right things. I think I am at the point where I need to make a few items in my regular routine more challenging. I need to start sounding bad again.

My friend said a mouthful when he said – “the woodshed is a tough place to be.” This definitely rings true when you're working on something new and difficult. I think I've become comfortable with the stuff that I've mastered and now I need to take it to the next level. I am going to spend some extended time working on some dominant 7th scale patterns and also improve my finger dexterity. Time to start sounding bad again. I am also considering adding time to practice sessions. I will perform my fundamentals open horn and after hours I will try and get in some time playing on the harmon mute. Even if it is only 30 minutes of playing along with recordings, working out solos or licks.

On another note I returned to singing with my church choir today. I've been singing in the church since I was 5 years old and it was something I took a break from about 2 years ago. I really enjoyed myself. While there is the obvious spiritual benefit that I get from singing I also enjoy the challenge of learning a new song and preparing to present music for Sunday services. It also gets me used to performing in public again — something I hope to do with the trumpet when I am confident and ready.