Change in Attitude

Over the weekend when talking with some friends of mine I realized that I had  a change in attitude about music and how I viewed myself as a musician. My  friends are both dancers and we were talking about how something that you love  to do (in my case playing jazz/trumpet) becomes a part of you. I no longer look  at music as something that I do – it has become a part of who I am as a person.  Right along with all my bad habits, likes, dislikes and character traits, music  and the desire/need to create it defines who I am.

When I realized this I also realized that I took what I did much more  seriously now. When I first started playing I was quick to use my beginner  status as a punch line or joke to downplay and explain my lack of ability. I  can’t (and won’t) do that now. The more opportunities that I get to play in  public the more my confidence grows and the more I start to truly believe that I  am a musician. I believe that realization is allowing me to play more to my full  potential and to practice honestly to improve.

Sorry to get deep with everyone. This is a pretty big deal for me. I  still love music and find extreme joy in playing it but I just feel “different” for lack of a better word.

More Gigs and More Confidence

Part of my new found attitude is a result of playing in public more. Since my  last posting I have played a gig in Greensboro Maryland, in a church ensemble  for choir day, a BBQ jam and numerous other gigs. I think I’ve played more gigs in  the past few months than I did the entire year of 2005 and there are already more  on the horizon. I am starting to feel more comfortable on the band stand. The  more comfortable I become the more I start to come out of my box and abandon the  “safe” stuff that I normally play. I attempt to chase ideas and pull off some of  the more complex stuff that I work out in the practice room. I still have moments where I stretch myself into a corner and have to quickly figure out a way back to center.  As a friend of mine  once said – “I’m getting in my reps” which means the more I do it — the  stronger (and more confident) I will become.

It seems strange to say this so quickly after posting my “Shaking Trumpeter”  journal entry but it is true. While I still get nervous prior to playing it is  no where near the paralyzing fear that I experienced before. Once the music  begins I focus on the task at hand and that focus makes my mind too busy to think  about anything other than listening, playing and enjoying myself.

Equipment Update

I’m sure many folks have noticed that I removed the equipment link from my  menu items. When I first started playing trumpet I went through several horns  and mouthpieces. I think there was a misconception that I spent more time  looking for equipment solutions to my playing problems instead of digging them out of the dirt via  practice. For the record, even when I was trying different horns and mouthpieces  I will still practicing between 1.5 to 2 hours a day (more on weekends). That  being said I will probably put that information back on my site in the near  future.

For the curious, the my current line up is:

Lawler Model T Trumpet (brushed lacquer finish) Conn Vintage One Flugelhorn (Satin lacquer finish) Karl Hammond Mouthpieces (5ML, 5FL)

I will probably be using this setup for a long time.

Photos Update

The Photos link is active again and I’ve added a  few pictures from recent gigs. More to come!

Special Thanks

While playing with the Jazz Band  Masterclass I met a guy by the name of Lorenzo Toppin. I really clicked with  this cat and in him I found someone as anxious and driven to improve as I am. He  is very encouraging (he actually digs my sound more than I do) and has made a  point to invite me to sit in/perform with him regularly. I can’t put into words  how important that is and how much I appreciate it. I still have my doubts about  being ready for “prime time” but I remember reading that Miles Davis didn’t  think he was ready to play with Charlie Parker and people thought Miles was nuts  for hiring a developing tenor star by the name of John Coltrane. I listen to  recordings from some of our gigs and I’m constantly asking myself — why does he  want ME to play with him!?  I’m still figuring things out!  While I may  never be on the same level as these great players – Lorenzo’s confidence in me  has given me confidence in myself.  More than that – I ALWAYS have a  great time playing with this cat and I think that joy comes out in the music we make.

Thanks Lo…